Call me psycho but it’s been alarmingly calm lately. Not that I want things to get shitty ha, I mean, it’s me, the fucked-up-shit magnet. I’m not complaining though, because I like things as it is. I don’t wish for too much, I can be contented with just-fine stuff. If you were to ask me, I always like to do things differently, but when I get the chance to change something in my life, I always back out, because I can settle for whatever it is that I have. I’m not a huge fine of breaking chains. (Although I consistently unintentionally break some) People may think I can be a horrible person, but I am just really simple. I just really want things to stay the same. I like where I am right now. I like that I’m barely grasping this rope of reality, but I know I can still hold on, because some things may be bad, at least those things are so minor that I can get through them. It’s not like din naman na I have a wonderful life, I’m just always afraid that things may get worse from here, so I never wanted to put the stability at stake. I always wanted a better life, but I’m scared to mess things up.
I like how things are bad sometimes as long as they’re keri-bad. I can live with that.
I’m afraid to know what’s behind some things. I am afraid for the ones I love. I am afraid for myself. This calmness is alarming because there’s always something horrible to happen when you get pass the eye of the storm. I hope it’s always summer.