Euphoria

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Tell me, were there people who thought, “Who cares I can’t make my children go to school? I was Prom King 2010.” Or “I was always at the top of the pyramid, why would I even care if I fuck for money now? My beauty is just too much, I have to get paid.”

I don’t even know what I’m getting at. These things are pretty mess up, but I won’t even lift a finger trying to make a solution for these fictional people’s problems. I just wrote them because as much as they don’t end up pretty fly, there were times in their lives that they looked up to themselves. No matter how shallow their views in life, there were moments that they knew are the best versions of themselves. There’s a 45-year-old guy somewhere who thinks that his greatest achievement was being the prom king.  There’s a woman out there who thinks that being the head cheerleader who’s always on top of the pyramid was the best thing ever and she doesn’t give a fuck that she’s on top of random guys now until she makes her beauty unfuckable because she was famous.

Yes, we can all be judgy and hold them accountable for their messed up lives. But what we cannot take away from them is how something so shallow and something that’s no big deal could make their whole lives complete. If we want something bad enough, we’ll make it happen. Or if we cannot, we should at least try because there’s nothing more fatal than not knowing.

What makes the best day of your life? It can be an hour of road trip, travelling the world, performing, writing a song, shopping, collecting a book’s every edition, hanging out with friends, Christmas, a chemistry class– it could be anything at all, it can be anything little, it could be something big, but we can never deny the fact that it’s what we wanted. And I think that’s the beauty and somewhat, also, the curse of life. No matter how fucked we are, no matter how wrong we see things, we cannot choose what we love and we can’t deny what makes us happy.

I always think about my peaks in life. I always like comparing my notes. Moment after moment, I decide if something is as bad or something made me happier. I always think that no matter how short that euphoric moment, it’s always important and I have to be there to see it with my eyes and feel it through my skin. Even if it only lasts 15 minutes, or an hour, I have to make sure that I’m experiencing it, because even a prom night or a cheerleading competion can be the best days of our lives.

In between thinking about Mr. Fuckboy 2010 and Ms. Pyramid World, I thought about maybe, just maybe, in between 2012 and 2014, he might have loved me, too. And although it will never fall together, I guess I have my euphoric moment to look back when I’m 45.

 

 

 

 

 

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