“Is there a day that you don’t wanna end?”
I just thought about this question that I’ve read earlier in Facebook. I totally forgot about it because it’s just one of those posts that I scrolled pass-through because sometimes Facebook is just so awful that reading everyone’s feed feels like staring straight into the sun. But this afternoon is not like my typical summer afternoon. It’s kinda cold right now and I think it’s gonna rain. I’ve been wishing for one cold night this summer. Sana hindi ‘to ma-jinx.
I thought about the last time that I was extremely cold. It was easy. It made me think about that night again and then this question came back rushing to me with my answer to it.
The last time I felt really cold was the day that I don’t want to end.
It was the best kind of cold, I’d say. She’s The One was playing. My every step murking through the loam and in the dark, but in a good way. Every strand of our hair were flying everywhere. The beer was cold and it made the night a lot colder but it promised some warmth too. I didn’t know the song until the next day but it felt like I’ve known it all my life. Maybe it’s what Charlie felt when they were driving through the tunnel. I felt infinite, too. I’ve always hated too much coldness but not that day. It was just perfect.
That was the day that I learned I’m still not over it. It was the best feeling.
There were torches everywhere. It didn’t help much with the cold but it helped me to see things clearly. I saw everything– the beautiful ones, the not-sos and well, you. I heard people singing along. During that night it didn’t need much to say. It just needed us to be there. It was the day I never wanted to end even then. I never wanna live my life anymore. It was the best version of myself. It was the best version of everything.
But we needed to head back. We were walking and I remember being nostalgic about something that’s still happening.
It was the day that I don’t want to end. It didn’t matter if something never started.
It was a nice piece of real happiness.