Of all the emotional debts I had to pay for being indecisive, being wapakels would be the ultimate price I’ve acquired along the years. They said, “Don’t fix what ain’t broken.” That’s true. I believe that shit. But I’d say you can put it this way, too: “Don’t try to fix something you know there’s no chance of rebuilding.”
I always experience this shit. I remember my very first vape. I eventually learned how to make it work but it’s just too late. I ruined the whole thing. It has something to do with wires shit. It made sense actually. Back in the day I thought that the atomizer might be broken so I looked for my tool shed for screwdrivers, but then the smallest one that I can find was just too big for the atomizer. I still insisted on using it so I could blurt it open instantly. Atat na atat ako. I completely ruined the whole screw by widening the puzzle-like shit on top of it. When I came to find the right sized screwdriver the next day I wasn’t able to unscrew it because the screw was ruined. I threw out the whole thing and lit a stick instead. We’re all gonna die anyway.
See, I know that sometimes we wouldn’t know if something’s gonna work if we haven’t even tried it. But you see, life can suck so much but if we’re too lucky there are God-given times that we already know what’s gonna work and what’s not. It’s not bad to try things at all but sometimes your common sense knows better. Your common sense will always have your back because it’s the only thing that knows if something is worth the try or if something is just unfixable. It’s the only thing that would know if you’re ready or not.
I say, you can never force anything in this world. Every little thing needs their own time for something. Life is really extremely hard but you know the consequences when you place your bet to something that you know you have no chance of winning. We do uncertain shit even if it’s sure lose because we’re too desperate, too pathetic to accept the truth– that we should leave things broken rather than try to fix it and make it more impossible to fix. We are so stupid sometimes that we make fucked up choices on fucked-up things and make the bad things worse. Things that are forced would eventually fall out of the spectrum. Why? There’s no explanation. That’s just how the game works. It’s not happy but it seems just. I don’t even have to explain further.
This shit is the screw and we used a little too big screwdriver. Good thing I don’t care much about anything anymore. The atomizer sleeps well in the trash now.